Monday, May 24, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
The Sluggo
Dorothy Hamill sported The Wedge..
Jennifer Aniston wore The Rachel...
Kiki rocks The Sluggo...
Jennifer Aniston wore The Rachel...
Kiki rocks The Sluggo...
HOORAY FOR HAIR!!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Yoga Nidra!
Most of Sunday morning I spent weeping, feeling disgraced and outcast by fortune.
Auspicously, I had registered for Yoga Nidra at Sun Moon Yoga.
As I set up my mats, bolsters and blankets, I prepared myself to continue weeping, hopefully not sobbing openly, during the Yoga Nidra. After all, I cried during savasana the first time I went to yoga (see earlier post.) I settled in with a stack of tissues nearby.
The teacher explained that Nidra means "sleep" except that you aren't supposed to go to sleep. Instead, the practitioners lie still, totally still no matter what, listening and focusing on the words and voice of the person leading. Uh oh, what if I need my tissues? What if I have to get up because I'm sobbing and blubbering?
I dedicated the session and myself to paying attention to her voice and words.
We were led through the chakras - I am pretty sure there are more than 2, but I only remember the one on the top of the head and the forehead, so I must have fallen asleep.
I came to thinking - Did I snore? I didn't think about snoring or snorting which often happens when I sleep on back - Brrr - I'm a little cold - where are my hot flashes when I need them - oh someone else is snoring - I'm supposed to pay attention? What is she saying? Dammit - pay attention - is dammit bad karma - pay attention!
Hear the teacher's voice - focus! Visualize the images - a pink rose, snow covered mountains, people swimming, a pink rose, a beautiful sunset.... I was back on track. At the end of the 45 or so minutes we were finished.
Gradually transitioning to standing, I realized I was transported to a new state - rested, energized and relieved of the crazy narrative with which I spent the morning tormenting myself. And it has lasted.
Auspicously, I had registered for Yoga Nidra at Sun Moon Yoga.
As I set up my mats, bolsters and blankets, I prepared myself to continue weeping, hopefully not sobbing openly, during the Yoga Nidra. After all, I cried during savasana the first time I went to yoga (see earlier post.) I settled in with a stack of tissues nearby.
The teacher explained that Nidra means "sleep" except that you aren't supposed to go to sleep. Instead, the practitioners lie still, totally still no matter what, listening and focusing on the words and voice of the person leading. Uh oh, what if I need my tissues? What if I have to get up because I'm sobbing and blubbering?
I dedicated the session and myself to paying attention to her voice and words.
We were led through the chakras - I am pretty sure there are more than 2, but I only remember the one on the top of the head and the forehead, so I must have fallen asleep.
I came to thinking - Did I snore? I didn't think about snoring or snorting which often happens when I sleep on back - Brrr - I'm a little cold - where are my hot flashes when I need them - oh someone else is snoring - I'm supposed to pay attention? What is she saying? Dammit - pay attention - is dammit bad karma - pay attention!
Hear the teacher's voice - focus! Visualize the images - a pink rose, snow covered mountains, people swimming, a pink rose, a beautiful sunset.... I was back on track. At the end of the 45 or so minutes we were finished.
Gradually transitioning to standing, I realized I was transported to a new state - rested, energized and relieved of the crazy narrative with which I spent the morning tormenting myself. And it has lasted.
On second, thought...
Sunday morning was a mess. I was tormented by decisions about "reconstruction." Should I? Shouldn't I? What happened to being proud and shameless? Turns out that once my anger at plastic surgeon #1 faded, I wasn't feeling so happy about being lopsided. I noticed I was rounding my shoulders at the gym, avoiding eye contact.
Why wasn't I feeling like Matushka?
And, why wasn't feeling like getting some nice new, perky breasts?
I began to realize that I had still not fully accepted my situation. Despite the altered body and bald head, somehow I was or am still in denial.
And, why wasn't feeling like getting some nice new, perky breasts?
I began to realize that I had still not fully accepted my situation. Despite the altered body and bald head, somehow I was or am still in denial.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Final Chemo!
Whew! My final chemo was last Thursday! Now, I'm tired. Really tired. Thankfully the other nasty effects are manageable or gone. The last irritant is this yucky, burnt, acidy taste in my mouth. Just today I learned that some people are instructed to suck ice cubes during treatment in order to restrict the blood flow to the mouth and thereby reduce the blechy taste and mouth sores. Now I find out. I would have packed a cooler full of popsicles.